The Weight Loss Trials

Halfway there...

2011-12-01T12:46:00.001-05:00

Haven't been here because the doc wanted me to sit still so he could figure out what was happening to me.

I went in to get blood drawn and they couldn't get it to come out. I sat with my doc and he said something that made me feel stupid.

Apparently, I've been dehydrated, for the most part, since last summer.

I'm supposed to be off all physical activity for three weeks and drinking 170 ounces of water a day.

What's on the menu?

2011-10-21T21:37:00.001-04:00

I'm in "heavily monitored" mode while I'm in Tucson for the USTA League National Championships. That means low sodium, lots of water and veggies, no bread.

Did I just write that?

I'm trying to feel good all weekend. In Iowa for the regional tourney, I ate too much to recoup for calories lost, and ended up moving like a slug during my last match.

My doctor also warned me about keeping tabs on what I eat. He's as confused as I am about why I'm not losing weight with all the activity, hence why they're checking my thyroid.

I'm still feeling fatigue, so I haven't seen the gym too much. Though I did pull out the Wii to get a few hours in during the week. And I'm still walking with Charlie.

All I know is I haven't gained any weight. That's a small victory right there.

"We're going to check your thyroid..."

2011-10-16T23:28:00.001-04:00

I had a visit with the doctor Friday. According to eevrything, I'm burning an average 14,000 calories a week from running, hitting the weights and playing tennis. Somehow, I'm not losing weight.

Dr. Williams mostly said the obvious: My heart's in great shape, but I need to get my blood pressure down. He also advised checking me for diabetes. Big whup. My dad had it, and every new doctor seems shocked when my test comes back OK.

Then, he told me my thyroid could be holding the weight loss at bay.

I went a whole week recently without bread and cheese, eating chicken, and salads, and chicken salads. I even thought about going vegan as an extreme. This time around, dropping even five pounds has been hell.

My body can't take it. I can't take it.

I find myself trying to fit in a few more seconds of a workout when I should be getting ready for work.

The problem is I don't see it translating anywhere. Then I ride through the Burger King drive-thru. That'll teach my stupid body!

Unfortunately, it's only affecting me.

In a way, learning my thyroid needs to be controlled would be welcome news. I know I'm 30 this time, as opposed to 26, but what's really the big difference? But it also means I'm getting older, and I'm gonna have to leave myself open to those nagging things old people do. Watching my cholesterol. Using low sodium salt. Buying prunes to keep myself regular.

It's ... going.

2011-10-11T23:38:00.003-04:00

The hardest part about getting my diet in check is going to be making sure I have snacks on hand in case I can't get to food when I'm supposed to eat.

I'm a journalist who keeps his office hours when people would normally eat dinner. I go to bed in the middle of the night, not the beginning. You'd think adjusting everything according to my schedule would be the easy fix, right?

Tell that to my girlfriend, my mom, even the dog.

Most days, I'm up around 6 a.m. getting Charlie, the dog, out for her first walk. It also gets the wind in my face, leaving me hopeless to re-retire and start the day later.

I picked up a gym membership at the Lab Gym, this place around the corner from my house that looks like a steroid freak's basement would be set up. It's perfect for me: open 24 hours, and filled with people who simply by being muscular for no reason will motivate me to work out the core.

And I need it bad. REALLY bad.

I sent off an email to Charlie for help. Charlie and I started FAMU at the same time. I knew him through my dealings at the school newspaper, and he also dated a good friend of mine. Lately, he's been educating me through his Facebook and Twitter pages on all the crap I'm doing wrong. based on the fact that I don't think he knows what bodyfat is, I'm gonna trust what he says so I can lose some of mine.

He told me to try to eat clean six days a week.

I have to start off at four. I know me enough to know that cold-turkey approaches don't really work when you barely have time to breathe alone. I stocked the fridge with sugar-free fruit cups, boneless chicken breast, eggs and other fresh produce.

I lost four pounds last week, and I've been taking it easy on running to prepare for my weekend in Tucson in the USTA National Championships. Not too shabby.

The situation, as it stands

2011-10-01T10:58:00.001-04:00

I run. I play tennis. I work out.

For some reason, it doesn't matter.

The weight won't leave.

It slowly crept back as I left North Carolina. At that time (July 09) I had gained 25. I blamed it on the emotions left from unemployment. And I vowed to get it off before the end of the year.

By 2010, I was only up 20. It was progress, right? That's what I told myself.

Today, I've put on 55 of the 75 I lost. I said I wouldn't get back here, but I let the excuses pile up.

I've never really been one to lose weight alone, but my brother isn't motivated and Kyle doesn't need to go through the process again. This will be hard for me, especially since I feel good and have good stamina.

This is going to be all about me. The motivation is that closet full of clothes I want to wear comfortably.

I've never really been a fan of people telling me what worked for them, so I hit up Charlie Allen, a guy I know from college who's doing professionally everything that I need to do personally. I won't get into his qualifications, but there are plenty.

He told me to focus on the diet and use more weights.

He said more than that, but that's my underlying problem. I'm listening.

I just hope I can put it to good use.

So it begins (again)...

2011-09-29T18:12:00.003-04:00

Three years after I took off some 75 pounds, it has returned.

In it's entirety.

I'm sad. I'm disappointed. I'm depressed. I can't believe it's happened to me.

I can't believe I let it happen.

My friend Kyle and I embarked on this journey together - with a few stragglers in tow. We lost the major weight. He, through using weights for better impact, looks great. Me? I lost as much weight, but the body make-up didn't change as much. It's not that I hate using weights. It's that cardio is so much easier.

I put in a call for reinforcements. I'm gonna get this blog going and explain my process for real. Hopefully, that'll keep me honest. I've gotten to the point where I refuse to buy new clothes because the ones I have (and no longer can fit) are bigger than I want to be.

For me, 380 is NOT a good look.

Leave me comments on my journey. It'll help me come back daily to keep things posted.

A little behind...

2008-04-04T23:18:00.002-04:00

April 2
Oatmeal — 250
Chicken salad (with vinagrette dressing) — 380
2 chicken sandwiches — 940 (wowza!)
granola bar — 90

April 3

salad — 250
a Big Mac — 560
grilled chicken with squash and spaghetti sauce (don't sleep on it!) — 340
2 granola bars — 190

April 4

Trip to Golden Corral — 950
Salad with shrimp (vinaigrette dressing) — 350
Sweet tea — 350

RALEIGH — There seems to be no way of getting around fast food.

If a news event comes up where I'm going to be tied up for an extended period of time, going home for that healthy meal I prepared is out of the question.

Let's face it, the granola bars can only hold me for so long.

This week, we've dealt with six deaths and one shooting victim. That's meant a lot of eating on the go with no end in sight.

I find myself working harder in the gym after I've been denied my basic right of a lunch break though. It works to balance out what's going on.

At least, that's what I keep telling myself.

Anybody got a tip to handle a busy day? I filled up my extra storage compartment with twizzlers and granola bars in case it looked like lunch would come later. And yeah, I know there are more healthier options at fast food places. Usually my wallet's empty, which means the 2 bucks I do have will go for something on the dollar menu. Can you show me something healthy on the dollar menu? Me, either.

On the bright note, I've lost 5 pounds as of today. My goal is to drop 20 more before May 1. Let's see how next week — and 5 days in Puerto Rico — affect my chances.

April Fool's Day

2008-04-01T22:38:00.003-04:00

Meal 1: grilled Salmon steak, green salad — 300
Snack 1: Granola bar, cup of fat free yogurt — 190
Meal 2: Green salad, topped with grilled Salmon and tomatoes — 350
Snack 2: 1 Granola bar — 100
GOSH: Five Peanut butter cups — 400
(Woke up late, so the third meal isn't happening. I may get a yogurt cup or something tho.)

There's definitely a trip to the gym in my future after work.

So today I made my goals for the month of April. I seem to be smashing all the other ones, so I've gotta do something different to keep my head in the game.

I want to lose 15 pounds this month. It's enough to put me at -65 for the year, but also to get me back in it. The last month (struggling through the food while maintaining the workouts), I cheated myself, but I still lost 10 pounds.

So this weekend, I pigged out. I bought a lemon pound cake like no other with the goal of downing something I hadn't in a while to take away some of the heavy cravings I've been experiencing.

As you can see by the peanut butter cups, it didn't really help.

But my determination will. Damnit, I wanna be down 75 pounds (wow, it doesn't sound like so much until I write it) by Memorial Day. I'm going home for a reunion picnic with some of my elementary school friends, and I'll be seeing the fam. They haven't seen me since November, and I can't wait!

". . ."

2008-03-27T04:28:00.002-04:00

When April starts, I'll be posting all that I eat, just to make sure I'm not putting the wrong things in the body.

This way, I'll be able to at least tell myself "hey, do you want that to go up on the blog?"

Likely, the answer will be no, and I'll keep it movin from the chocolates, pizza and other sweets that get the best of me.

I've lost two of the four pounds I put on last week, which brings my total to 49 pounds down since Jan. 1.

I'm down two pants sizes, my 17 shirts fit normally again, and I can't wait to start weights in April.

Getting back on it...

2008-03-26T02:07:00.002-04:00

The gym wasn't even an option today.

When I woke up, my entire body ached. I don't know what it was, but something told me to stay home.

I've been thinking of tooling with my regimen, which has been working wonders. I read somewhere that the best way to keep it effective is to keep it new. At least, that's the way I took what I read.

When I do get back to the gym (which better be today or Thursday), I think I'll only do half the cardio, and add some weights to the routine. After all, light weights burn fat AND build muscle.

Any pointers?

M_Dubb, +4...

2008-03-25T04:36:00.002-04:00

I'm back from out of town, but I'm back with a little something extra.

I gained four pounds while I was out of town.

That means tomorrow starts a new day with the same pace I'd been on before I left. I love that I was able to lose 10 pounds during the first half of this month. Now, even with the plus-4 I brought back to Raleigh, I'm trying to get that total to 15 for March.
And the daily digests start now.

I feel like rubber, but that's a good thing?

2008-03-18T04:38:00.002-04:00

I stayed away from weights early on because I was told there was so much excess weight I needed to get off, I needed to get a head start on the cardio.

Problem is, I feel like a water bed.

Now I know some people like the fact that I have a little more on me, but I'm getting to the stage in this experiment where I wanna be as hard as I feel.

That, my friends, ain't happnin.

So I'm going to seek a second opinion. I mean, it's not like I'm going to start over. But I need to know how soon I can start toning.

I know this stuff didn't get on me overnight, but I'm feeling like a caterpillar getting ready for the cocoon phase.

What do I do? Who do I ask? What will become of me?

OK, that last one was a little over the top, but ya know...

Where I usually fall flat

2008-03-17T05:52:00.002-04:00

I eat sweets to keep me up on long road trips. With the passing of my aunt last week, and the fact that plane tickets are priced through the roof, I'll be driving the SUV home for her funeral.

Oh, boy.

I dunno how I'm going to be able to make it through. Usually the sugar is what helps me when I'm close to conking out. Maybe I'll buy something upbeat like the new Danity Kane CD to keep me going. I dunno. But I'm gonna need all the help I can get, without my good friend Hostess to help me out with those 10 hours.

Passing the milestone...

2008-03-16T00:58:00.002-04:00

OK, so I finally made it over 40 pounds. This last few pounds has kicked my ass so hard I was to the point where I thought it was impossible.

With the milestone in mine, it helps me to establish a new goal for myself. By the time my trip rolls around, I'd like to be down another 15 pounds. I reached back into my personal journals and realized I actually set a goal for myself nearly two years ago. I'm now 76 pounds from there, which I should hit before the end of the year, if I keep it up.

But we'll see.

All I'm sayin is...

2008-03-14T23:16:00.000-04:00

A cheeseburger and fries from my favorite place went a long way today. The thing I'm noticing about my eating habits is that I want less and less on the cheat days when they do show up. Today, all I wanted was some fries from The Borough.

I got them.

They were worth it.

But I'll be in the gym early tomorrow.

It's worth it, too.

Week 1: You can't do what works for someone else.

2008-03-13T22:22:00.002-04:00

The first thing I noticed about Kyle at the airport was how he looked like one of the regular people. My favorite thing about my boy up to this point was that his presence often times made me not feel out of place.

We've both been trying to do better by ourselves this year, so I knew we'd be able to compare notes while he was in North Carolina. but I struggled with the fact that we've had the same weight loss, but it looks much better on him.

But I also remembered our 100 pound weight difference, our four inch height difference and every other difference that comes into play. Something he said in hindsight made me feel like he felt I was on the losing end of this year's challenge.

I'm happy that I'm down 40 pounds since the year began. I'm not working as hard as he is, and I'm not trying to. I have to do something for me that helps me stick to it. Otherwise, I fail.

And failure means breathing hard as hell to climb two flights of stairs at work.

"You have two cheat days." "You should get a sauna suit." "You're not using ANY weights?"

Yep. Nah. I just started.

I think people sleep on the fact that I am a lot larger than I look. That means sometimes I have to push harder in some areas to jump start others. I appreciated his concern — and that he understood not to force his methods on me — and I'm proud of him for what he's done. But this is all about me.

I'll be at the gym if you need me.

Sabotage

2008-03-12T23:43:00.002-04:00

I went to the fridge to grab myself a salad I'd made earlier in the day, and a strange bag from Subway begged for me to look inside. There, I found half a meatball sub and a bag of Doritos.

I love Doritos.

Then I remembered I had company this weekend. And my company must have been out to get me.

The hardest thing about getting your life right with food and exercise is that if the people around you aren't up for it, they'll bring you down. I'm not looking forward to this weekend, which will bring yet another friend to the Triangle, where yet again they will be trying to get me to bring dumb shyt into the crib.

Thankfully it's been enough time where I was able to look at the snacks and the meatball sub, rewrap them, and slowly put them in the trash. I couldn't trust myself with out of town visitors any other way.

Tell me something...

2008-03-11T23:14:00.000-04:00

What inspires you to lose weight?

I know there are people out there who do quick diets in time for vacations, weddings, holidays, picture days and even to welcome the "beach season" with open arms.

Who are you doing it for?

Most people say they wanna lose weight for themselves, but I think in the back of our minds, we're doing it to get back at somebody, to prove someone wrong, to make sure somebody knows what they passed on and etc.

I just wanted to know, since I'm puttin all my business out there. It makes me feel better when we share with each other... lol

You need "cheat" in ya life

2008-03-10T21:51:00.002-04:00

I sat down Sunday and ate three pieces of pizza with no remorse. It had been a while.

I gave up cheat days when my boy Kyle and I were going through our process to lose weight in a two-week period.

But losing weight without a quick reward here or there felt more like a chore than a challenge.

I welcomed back my cheat days with open arms. Maybe too much so.

When I went to bed, I noticed I'd eaten 6 slices. You know I was overdoing it in the gym today...

The Month of Thursdays Challenge

2008-03-10T08:18:00.000-04:00

We all know I'm like the A-D-D kid on speed when it comes to a regimen that I need to take and stick to. I've been on the group blogs, the weird diets, I finally said no to Weight Watchers, but this will be another thing I'm adding to my arsenal.

For the next 30 Thursdays, I'll be checking in with something new I learned on the road to greatness. It seems like the blog I was doing with several of my friends has ventured off into the abyss, so I'll be refocusing my efforts here.

It's been more than two years since I started blogging about the fact that I wanted to lose weight. Seems the third year's gonna be the charm.

I'll still be updating daily for the next 30 days, but I'm also pubbing the journey I'll be on to retool my life to incorporate things that will help me make my way toward "a new me."

I hate cliches, but it's after 5. Sue me.

No pain, no gain

2008-03-09T04:35:00.000-04:00

When you're sliding into first, and you feel a sudden burst...
GET OFF THE TREADMILL!

So I was beginning my third mile when the older lady took her position on the treadmill in front of me. I only had 75 cents, so I wasn't fearful she'd mug me.

What she did was far worse.

Five minutes later, I caught a whiff of one of the foulest gas attacks a (wo)man could have. At least I thought it was gas, until the smell didn't go away.

That's when I spotted it.

In the back of her pants, you could clearly see the outline of a diaper. Chick had "used it."

I struggled through my third mile until I just couldn't take it anymore. Moving was not an option. Not only did she smell me out, but others had started scattering for an open window, too.

I've been taking music to the gym to keep me focused. I take a towel to keep (somewhat) dry. The water bottle is to keep me hydrated.

I never thought I'd need nose plugs.

See, what had happened was...

2008-03-08T12:13:00.000-05:00

I definitely wrote this one below yesterday. In the middle of all the work drama, I set it as a draft instead of a post. My bad:

I've taken the week off, to really good results. I have actually lost 2 pounds this week, and I haven't been to the gym at all. There's been some personal things going on (not to mention the fact that work kicked up, finally!) that I needed to prioritize.

But the fact that I ate what I wanted to eat, and still came out on top, shows me two things:

My metabolism is more elevated that at the beginning -- I definitely could not have eaten pizza and come out pounds lighter than I was going in.

I'm eating less -- I didn't think about it until I noticed myself putting more food into the fridge after I was done eating.

11 pounds to go. Wish me luck!

I cut out for a minute...

2008-03-07T01:22:00.000-05:00

OK, so here's the deal:

I'm only down 40 pounds since the beginning of the year. My goal for the end of this month is another 13.

Life has just taken hold of me. I'm trying to get my money on. If you read the other blog, you'd realize I now have a kid to take care of... lol

I'm still on it. I promise I am. It's just that...

Hell.

From here until the end of March, I'll provide daily updates on what's been going on.

I promise.

Now, the running thing...

2008-02-21T23:52:00.000-05:00

I stopped using the treadmill because we didn't seem to gel.

More like I was too big to be runnin on it.

It wasn't an issue with stamina, per se. I could easily hit 2 miles. But when I tried to crank up the speed, I was constantly reminded how far from "normal" I was.

The damn thing had a weight restriction.

If you're under 250, the treadmill would do you right. Anything over that, and he'd probably send yo ass flyin backward into a wall (or in my case, the old lady walking by) when the belt suddenly stopped. I hated not being able to run so much that I got some shoes and decided to do it outside.

Not the thing to do if you're a beginning runner and live in North Carolina. These hills had my calves burning.

So the arc trainer had become my salvation. But I kept hearing Kyle talk about the treadmill and how he's doing 2+ miles now. It was like dangling chocolate in front of my face. I had to see.

I did 3 miles my third time out. Yeah, it skipped, but I guess the 35 pounds I'm down so far helped keep me centered.

According to the scale...

2008-02-15T17:26:00.000-05:00

I lost 2.6 pounds this week.

I dunno if I can take that as a victory of a defeat. I mean, it's a victory that I lost weight, but I dunno how much of one it is being that I didn't hit my target. Now, I have two weeks til the friends show up, and a 15-pound goal staring me in the face.

It's crunch time.

I'm even thinking about skipping pizza night. It's THAT bad. And the pizza we're ordering is some of the best stuff I've had since Pizza Papolis.

What's a guy to do?

Let's get to it...

2008-02-12T01:21:00.000-05:00

I made my 5 pound goal for last week, so I can spare myself the embarrassment of anybody seeing me on the scale.

But the homies are coming down in a few weeks, so I'll be stepping up my program to get a little farther along in the process. That means one cheat day instead of the obligatory two I've been giving myself. I'm also now going to the gym 5 days a week instead of 3-4. This way, I'll burn more calories, and put less into my body.

I've noticed more and more that the cheat days are usually spent eating things I don't necessarily eat during the week, but I eat them because I can. So it shouldn't be hard to give it up.

So far, I'm down 30 pounds since I began, and I feel great.

My goal this week is 3 pounds, since I played the role of fat ass, eating all the bread I could get my hands on this weekend. I know it'll come back to bite me, but I hope to lose more in the next two weeks.

We'll see.

If I don't lose 5 lbs this week....

2008-02-06T17:53:00.000-05:00

I'm baring all on my blog.

No, not all that, my weight. I'll gladly climb on the scale, snap a shot of what it says, and put it out there.

The only way I'm able to motivate myself is through incentives. And since this is something I'd dare say I don't want divulged, I think it's gonna work.

I told myself Monday night that this would be the case. I'm already down 4 pounds.

See? It's working already.

What makes a man try to kill himself?

2008-01-31T23:28:00.000-05:00

Seeing an uptick on the scale, that's what.

So I'm only down 25 pounds for January, but I'm trying to do that again in February.

I'll admit I had a bad "final week." I was supposed to be shaking my way to my adjusted goal of 32, but something came up.

This big ass project I've been stressing over at work.

Seriously, If I'm not writing, I'm interviewing. If I'm not interviewing, I'm audiotaping. If I'm not audiotaping, I'm re-interviewing. But it'll be over soon.

I've been putting in extra hours trying to get it done, and working hard to make sure there's some impression I'm doing my daily work. My editor says to me the other night: "Marlon, that's what it's like in a newsroom." Yeah, sure. But the people who work during the daytime aren't stretched thin like me.

But I'll survive.

My goal in February is another 25 pounds. If I meet the goal, I'll have to walk around with an epi pin to stop the swelling. Best believe the swagger will be on bump!

We got the beat!

2008-01-29T15:00:00.000-05:00

It's Tuesday, and I've been to the gym twice already. Thanks to some clean gym clothes.

I dunno why it's the way it is, but I can't stand to roll up in the gym with yesterday's sweat lines and everything else. It's like I feel underdressed.

Walking into the gym is more like the back room at a fashion show. The black woman up front, her hair pinned so close to her scalp she looks like she has brush waves. The white guy with the salt and pepper hair on the weight bench, his new track suit looking like it was bought specifically for today.

Then you have me, pushing myself to the limit on the arc trainer, sweating like I'm in the sauna, guzzling water like it's going out of style (and it is, here in North Carolina, but I digress).

Update: I checked my measurements yesterday and got really excited, but I was too tired to post. I lost 2 inches off my waist, 3.5 off the stomach, 2 off the thighs, 2.5 off the chest. PR in April is about to be somethin else!

Hittin the round robbin

2008-01-25T01:24:00.000-05:00

Hey folks,

I never gave up, just took a bit of time away from the blog. Since my daily job is writing, I get a little overwhelmed sometimes.

Think about writing three news stories, then coming here to give the good people an update... lol

I'm down about 25 lbs since Jan. 2, which has been no small feat in itself. I've been doing more working out, and a lot less eating out.

I ran into a snag this week when I realized both of my workout shirts and pants were dirty. As hell.

I looked around in panic like a white girl in a horror movie, struggling to find something that would remotely resemble what I usually work out in.

It was useless.

So far, I haven't been to the gym in three days because of some bullshit that I've been chalking up to lack of time.

I'll get there. As soon as I get to the laundromat. Or the nearest Ross.

It's Friday!

2007-11-16T22:44:00.000-05:00

I can't say I've really done anything major since my last report. Still down 14 lbs (which is good, considering I've been out of town twice since), and still struggling to maintain a routine at the gym and with food.

Trips throw my life out of sync. I'll get it together eventually. I count calories, but I can't be bothered to write all that food down. It sucks.

The last week in Tampa has me sleeping almost as soon as I get home, then getting up early the next day. I'm yawning at work as I type. I may change around my workouts if this doesn't change anytime soon.

Anybody in Raleigh need a workout partner?

So far...

2007-11-06T17:32:00.001-05:00

I'm down 14 pounds since Oct. 1.

"I get paid just fa..."

2007-11-01T22:18:00.000-04:00

I see an island getaway in my future.

Not just me and a few friends kickin it, throwing back drinks and chasing the native "skirt," but something with a little more purpose.

I see me going to Cancun in the spring, a little smaller than I am now, for the celebration.

I talked to my boy Kyle, and he sounded serious about hopping down to Mexico. By January, we should be talking this thing into existence.

This is going to be my goal. That trip is going to be my party. I plan on hitting the beach, dropping the t-shirt and frolicking like a damn fool.

By night, we'll both be drunk as hell for the low-low.

The last time I was in Cancun, I was 17, drunk every day and still came home with some of the $400 I'd taken with me. I was also 100 lbs lighter.

If you can't tell, I'm ready!

How we're doing...

2007-10-30T03:01:00.000-04:00

I went overboard on cheat day, and now I regret it.

I feel... different. I haven't weighed in again, but I know it was a crazy day. BTW, As of last Friday, I've lost 14 lbs since I restarted the blog. But I'm not getting excited yet. It's always how it goes. I get near 20 lbs, start to celebrate and self-destruct.

Not this time.

I'm headed to the gym now, so I'll feel a little better before I go to bed. The new apartment complex isn't good for much, but it's good for having an elliptical machine on hand for those times when I feel a bit lazy about the 15 minute drive to the gym.

For the week ahead, I hope to be another lb or two below where I was last Friday. We'll see.

I'm starting to show...

2007-10-26T04:26:00.000-04:00

Tonight, one of the judges I check in with at night said I looked to be losing weight.

"What are you doing?" Richardson later asked.

"Nothing, just a little more working out," I said.

It was a brief conversation, but enough to keep me motivated...

It's hard...

2007-10-24T20:53:00.000-04:00

To keep on task when you're moving.

That's all I'm gonna say about that.

I'll be weighing in on Friday, just to see where I am compared to the same day last week. Hopefully I'll be near zero or even, hopefully, under where I was.

But it's doubtful.

I've had no time for anything but sleep after working and making sure everything was moved.

And I'm selling my bedroom set, which has added more people vying for a piece of me.

All I want is a nap.

9,000 calories

2007-10-19T20:05:00.000-04:00

This week, my total caloric intake was around that much.

That's a lot better than I expected to do.

I don't think I deprived myself of anything (except a workout last night as I was packing boxes for the move). It's going to be fun cooking more for myself than I have been.

This weekend, I'm mostly going to be packing boxes and moving things over to the new apartment. The problem will be getting the bed, futon and dressers over to the new place. I may have to just rent a UHaul for a day and keep it moving. At least all the moving will add to more calories burned in the process.

I gotta get up wit Titan to see if he's good for a tennis match.

A beautiful day...

2007-10-17T23:10:00.000-04:00

I made it through the day at the fair and actually didn't overdo it on the random eating list.

I mean, sure I had a fried chocolate chip cookie (350), and fried peanut butter cups (300) will be on my list next year, but the veggies (80) I had with my bbq (100) and the salad (200)I had for dinner made everything fine. And I'm actually full.

Who knew?

Today was...

2007-10-17T02:13:00.000-04:00

How did I eat almost as many calories as I did yesterday, when I didn't even go to Taco Hell?

Bread, that's how.

Bread is a big part of my life. I eat it to make me feel full. I also eat it out of habit and tradition. Who naturally eats a ham sandwich on something other than bread?

Not I, said the fly.

Today was two bacon, egg and cheese bagels (410 calories each), then two ham sandwiches (280 each), a salad with honey mustard dressing (200) and some chips and salsa (200). I also had some grapes (100) and almonds (150) for snacks.

I went 30 calories over for the day, on my second day, no less, so there's gonna be some cutting back on the bread tomorrow. But I work the fair tomorrow, so it'll be interesting to see how that goes.

You can watch, too: The N&O's N.C. State Fair blog

Daily Digest No. 1

2007-10-15T22:49:00.000-04:00

Today, I started holding myself accountable for the things I consume. The ex taught me that Taco Bell, while full of bad service, is great on filling you up, and not using that many calories. I used that to my advantage today.

I decided to keep tabs on what I'm eating, just to make sure I'm not overdoing it.

My goal is that by utilizing the 2,000 calorie approach, along with a cheat day once a week, I'll be able to finally get where I wanna go. Far too often I get in a zone and try to do it too fast. I mean, who doesn't want to lose 5 lbs a week, right?

Right?

It's just that nobody with a full time job can keep that momentum up.

Today, I had a bowl of cereal (150 calories), 2 burritos (470), a nacho supreme (170) and a cup of yogurt (100).

I need to get a third meal, but that might not happen if I don't plan on going to the gym tonight. I'm not really hungry, but I haven't had any veggies, either. We'll see.

My goals for the next 5 months

2007-10-09T22:29:00.000-04:00

I'm gonna drop 10 lbs a month until March.

I will eat healthy and stop with the night eating.

I will go to the gym 4 days a week, switching one day out occasionally for tennis.

I will get more sleep (as soon as my project is finished in early November).

I will eat sweets, but in moderation. But it's hard to just eat one (chip, cookie, reese's cup, oatmeal pie).

Bringin Sexyback (Pt. 1)

2007-10-07T00:47:00.001-04:00

I found a machine that loves me for me.

It doesn't clown me like the treadmill does when I say I can do two miles.

It doesn't squeak at me like the elliptical machine when I try to gain some speed.

We started talking this week, and never looked back.

Welcome into my life, oh lovely machine.

It's like a one night stand. I go. I get on. I step back afterward to allow what just transpired to linger a bit longer. Then, I leave.

I'd seen it around before, but failed to strike up a conversation. My love affair with the treadmill was in its early stages, and I didn't dare stray, for fear of retaliation.

Now, she's letting me wander.

I've tried the elliptical machine. I've even tried the nature trail by the house. All have been good to me, no doubt. But I still felt empty.

Thus my retreat from the gym around July. I was working like a slave and leaving time for nothing else. Then that 20 lbs I'd taken off started creeping back up. Before I'd totally lost my grip on "under where I started at," I forced myself back to the workout sanctum.

And I met her.

I'm hooked on this machine.

I don't even know her name yet, but what she does to me...

Bringin it back!

2007-09-12T23:36:00.000-04:00

OK, so I ain't been on here in a good year and some change.

I traded jobs, I'm single, and I need to get my weight down.

I seriously needed out of the old job because unhappiness led to depression which led to weight gain which led to me right now.

I'm 3 hundred and (somethin somethin) pounds!

I can get under 300 easily. It's gonna take a lot of willpower, work...

and Encouragement.

I capitalized encouragement because people were the main reason I was able to keep it going the first time. When I got my Ballys membership, I was working nights, but I bought one for my sister, who was also going. When I found out she'd stopped going... I did, too.

I'm not able to do it on my own. I'm happy with myself, but I want this changed.

Send me an e-mail to marlon.a.walker@gmail.com every so often, or just if you wanna be my prayer partner. No, we're not going through the motions over here. Just prayer for a better body... lol

I've given up meat for 90 days. I'm back on the tennis court. I'm going to the gym three days a week.

I'm gonna do this.

You trying? Come on and join the support group. Send me an e-mail.

My goal for Jan. 1, 2008 is to be 30 lbs lighter than I am. It's not that far-fetched, so I be on it!

I'm weak...

2006-07-10T10:55:00.000-04:00

OK, so I quit the damn thing on Saturday.

I couldn't do it. I was mentally weak. And the pancakes were calling me. I didni't prepare myself for all I was going to be handling. Then the girls started coming up with Scarlet Fever-type symptoms.

I don't know what I'll do next. I may do it again. I just know Friday wasn't the right time for me to start anything.

Maybe it's tomorrow. Either way, I'm still on my health kick.

Haters be damned!

So I'm going it alone...

2006-07-07T20:13:00.000-04:00

My Boy bailed on me. Said something about not being able to because of a full travel sked.

And the girls are dropping like Flies.

I'm thinking of starting over Monday.

I feel like I rushed it.

I just found out how much I had to drink of this nonsense.

Nobody told me I'd be walking around looking like Tyrone the crackhead by the mouth!

Cayenne Pepper is some shyt that needs to stay in Emeril foods, ONLY!

But I'll be fine. I think...

Did I do something wrong?

2006-07-07T08:45:00.000-04:00

The pepper floating at the bottom of the bottle. The delightful smell. The "not so delightful" taste.

Must mean I've begun, right?

Yeah, I slurped up my tea, to the gall of my dwelling's occupants, and prepared two bottles of the "pissy looking" stuff for inhaling throughout the day.

Master P said it best: I'm a sipper. All the way.

I'm just wondering how this will affect my workout regimen?

10 days... no food... no pressure. Sigh.

2006-07-06T16:18:00.000-04:00

"NO LEMON JUICE," Master Peach screams through the IM screen, telling me what I'll need to join them, unofficially on my journey through the process that is The Master Cleanser.

I'm actually doing it wit Dizyaboy, but I decided to hit the girls up to see how they've been doing since they officially started in random jaunts over the past few days.

I'm not ready for this. But my wallet is. I don't plan on going grocery shopping for a few days, and the haters are already starting to talk shit and attempt to deter the process. I'm in my zone tho. And my pockets are telling me this couldn't have come at a better time.

It starts tomorrow.

And I'm starting to get all jittery. Not like I'm missing that last Big Mac, but like "will I see this through?"

I lost 25 lbs in the first few months of the year, but quickly gained them back. My clothes were the biggest losers in that aspect. Now I'm trying to get back in the $300 worth of clothes I bought earlier this year that I can't quite fit right now.

Wish me luck!

Back on the saddle

2006-04-18T03:41:00.000-04:00

I just haven't been able to focus with hayfever season looming and the fact that I was sick for most of February and March. Or at least I thought I was. Then I took a damn allergy pill and felt better than I've felt since the weather broke (yes, yes yall, the weather breaks in Florida, too).

SO I'm less than five weeks from D-Day, and I'm still tryin for a new goal. Maybe it's going to be mid-July in time for me to grace the family for the reunion. Maybe it's gonna be early August for the family reunion AND NABJ, where I'll be stylin and profilin wit my other family.

I dunno. I need motivation.

I talked to a friend of mine at work who thinks a workout buddy is perfect for motivating you. Unfortunately, all my coworkers work out at the Y. And the people at the gym don't have floating skeds like me. What's a guy to do?

Get his ass in gear!

I know, I feel like I'm crying wolf for the umpteenth time this year, but I'm dead serious. Watch out for me in July.

Promise.

Bob was right...

2006-03-16T18:57:00.000-05:00

I was watching the Biggest Loser last night and I heard the male trainer say something that makes a whole lot of sense. It's why I'm about to clean up my house, head back to work, head to the gym tonight and work it out.

He basically said not to say anything about a plateau.

"That means you're cheating too much," he said.

It's true. If you want it to come off, it does.

And it will.

You can't tell me to...

2006-03-14T02:08:00.000-05:00

I can't do a certain thing. No matter what you KNOW, THINK you know, or PERPETRATE knowing.

This is a battle I'm waging. Yeah, I'm gonna need the encouragement, wisdom and whatever else you can spit into my ear.

The first is encouragement. For a reason, it's the first in the line. I'll need that to keep up whatever it is I'm doing. Remember you're not the only voice in my head (including my own) telling me what to do and how to do it. If I get frustrated, kindly drop your two cents in: "you know, I did (blah, blah and blah) and look at me..." It's not gonna work when you discourage what I'm doin.

It'll only end with me sitting on the new Euro futon swallowing a rootbeer float and some 7-11 nachos (mmm, that sounds good right about now).

CCS clowns my trying to become a gym nazi. In nobody's world but my own, that's encouragement.

Sleezy tells me "every pound you've lost has found it's way to me!" While it's not a good thing to him, it certainly is to me. It means I'm doing SOMETHING RIGHT.

I was told I needed to treat myself every so often. I just don't think I've done that in the smallest moderation needed to see results.

People fail to realize NONE of them have been where I am. I had a doctor tell me I need to be 135 pounds smaller than I am. That would put me at about 200 pounds. That sounds good for him, but I'll be damned if I wanna look like Kobe Bryant's malnourished ass.

But still, it's depressing.

I wanna lose 65 lbs total from what I weigh today. Then, I'll be happy, finer den I am... lol... and able to jump up and down without my body moving in another direction.

Thanks for choosing Cinnabon.

Fallen off the wagon...

2006-03-09T13:12:00.000-05:00

I spent the last week eating fast food.

I know, I know. That's not going to help me to get down to where I wanna be. It was one of those weeks where I didn't feel like cooking - nor did I have the time to do so.

The new job has been keeping me busy. Being that I'm still out to prove myself, I'm saying yes to everything they ask - overtime, staying later, the whole shabang.

It ends today.

88 bottles of beer on the wall...

2006-02-27T11:05:00.000-05:00

So I'm getting closer to my trip and not much is happening in the weight department. I think I've stalled. But I'm still working out 4 days a week and trying to eat better.

I've been taking the weekends off to sort of reward myself for a job well done. But I'm going to stop that for a month.

From now til March 28, I'm giving up sweets and things til I get to where I wanna be.

Hopefully, this will have some drastic results.

Hell to the Naw!

2006-02-23T01:20:00.000-05:00

I got on the scale today and something snapped in my mind to put it at 0 and see if it's equal.

It wasn't.

I'm 7 lbs heavier than I thought I was.

I'm pissy as hell right now.

The gym should give me $20 for every pound because this nigga is SICK!

At least, I think I'm gonna be.

Now I'm 40 lbs away from where I wanna be.

It sucks. But I'm on my grind.

And I have a new goal for the total amount of weight I want to lose.

July 15, 2006.

It's three weeks shy of this year's family reunion.

Wish me luck.

Desparate Times...

2006-02-20T02:07:00.000-05:00

OK, so I'm more than 30 lbs short of where I wanted to be when I embarked on my big trip to Jamaica for the big 2-5, so I'm kicking up my calorie drop/weight loss kick jus a scoutch...

I'm starting Slim Fast tomorrow.

Yeah, it's cliche now, but hell, it's a quick meal (twice in the day) and I can still find time to make myself a great dinner.

I'm not doing the shakes twice a day on the days I work out (because I got a kitchen full o groceries and I know how I like to go to the gym and kill myself), but I'm gonna make this a 7-day thing.

The trainer at the gym said I can lose anywhere from 4-9 lbs a week in a healthy way, so I'mma take him up on that challenge. I'm not spending the $800 he wanted to put me in his hands twice a week, but I will venture to parts unknown with the $75 a month I'm payin Bally right now.

Slim Fast will be cheaper ($2 a can) and simpler (I've been forgetting to eat lunch at work). Plus, it's 180 calories in one meal! Who can beat that?

Things are going well.

2006-02-13T16:52:00.000-05:00

I put on an outfit that I hadn't worn in about... this year... and it fit better than it used to. I used to get annoyed at the outline of my stomach showing up through this shirt I like. It's not there anymore. I'm doing the whole 4X a week workout thing, and the calories have been cut to about 2,000 (I'm thinking of going lower), and things couldn't be better. I eat out on the weekends (if I feel like it) and it's working magically. I can't wait for May 18!

Week One went...

2006-01-23T01:39:00.000-05:00

OK, so I (tried) to get to the gym four times. I (tried) not to eat any pastas, crackers, breads and whatnot til my one cheat day.

I failed miserably.

Thursday I went to the cafeteria next to the workplace and got some soup. They had blackbean soup. Of course they have the rice right next to it. Since I hadn't eaten, I threw some in.

And I had crackers with it. And with the chili I had for dinner that day.

Friday I did well. Saturday was the cheat day.

Still, I'm seeing subtle differences. I'm still trying to get into my "outfit" I bought to wear once I was able to fit it comfortably. I can fit all in my closet, but if I wore this out in public, somebody would crack on me. You can see the outline of my belly in the shirt.

Paris Hilton says: "That's not hot."

I went to the gym four times. How many times did I go in?

3.

When I got there at 7:30 Saturday morning, I planned on getting right on the treadmill and going to work. They didn't open until 8. And I had to be at work at 9. (Note to self: Bally's hours suck on the weekend.)

We'll try again this week.

Mondays, cardio, stomach, legs
Tuesdays, cardio, arms, chest
Wednesdays, relax.
Thursdays, cardio, stomach, legs
Fridays, cardio, arms, chest
Saturdays, go if you missed a day of the week.
Sundays, relax.

April 15th, here I come!

2006-01-16T01:06:00.000-05:00

OK, so I lied. I'm starting the restriction on Jan. 16. Hey, it's a Monday. I went shopping today and threw a LOT of stuff out (noodles, pancake mix, crackers) and replaced it with carrots, apples, lettuce and whatnot.

It sucked.

I should eat pancakes when I get off tonight.

Fourth time - on the 11th.

2006-01-11T16:54:00.000-05:00

I almost went yesterday, but I couldn't find my card. My new 'tritionist (my boy Larry, who's going for a degree in Nutrition) told me I need to cut out starches to get rid of the gut.

"But what about the pot of speghetti I made yesterday?"

"Gih dat ta me. You know I love yo spaghetti nigga," he says, quickly reminding me he, who has a 32 inch waist and a fuckin 8 pack, can eat whatever the hell he wants. Somehow, he still can't master the english language...

So after I drop off da pot (you think I'mma just give the nigga a full pot of spaghetti?) I'm taking a break from starches. I'm supposed to show Rodney how I only spend $35 a week on groceries, so it'll be easy.

3 times - and it's the 9th.

2006-01-09T19:03:00.000-05:00

OK, so my average gym-going experience is once every three days for the year so far.

In other words: I'm slackin on my pimpin'.

But I went. And I'm going to continue to go.

Now, I gotta get the eating thing under control. I've kinda backed off on all the junk I ate before my tooth was pulled. Yeah, I've eaten a bag of cheetos and had a brownie or two since, but it's still not the same. And I've lost 10 lbs since the tooth was taken. I'm trying to get a few more off. And I think I finally have the right motivation.

I never started this as a "health-related" weight loss. It's all about me. I feel great every day. My heart isn't being overexerted. I can run a mile and barely be out of breath at the end.

But I wanna go to the beach when my brother and I embark on Montego Bay for our 25th birthday in May and be like "look at it!"

... and I'm out!

Went tothe gym

2006-01-02T19:49:00.000-05:00

Today, my eating habits are off the hook. I made banana pudding last night (momma was playin games while she was here). It was too much mix and not enough cookies to sop it up, so needless to say, I ended up eating two cupfuls of juice to make it get right.

Weighed in again. This time it said a little less than the last time. My starting point is 340 (this is what I'mma say -- It's actually lower than that). My goal is the same: by eating better, targeting my habit for eating late hours of the night and not enough in the morning, I plan to lose 65 pounds.

Wish me luck!

Bally says I'm going about this all wrong...

2005-12-24T01:23:00.000-05:00

I got one of my favorite weight loss e-mails from Bally Total Fitness today. It says by saying "I want to lose 20 lbs by Feb. 1," I'm not saying anything but that I wanna do it. The best way to do it is to specifically say what I'll be doing to lose those 20 lbs.

Here goes:
I will work out 4X per week and limit myself to 2,000 calories per day - eliminating sweets altogether) until Feb. 1. This, of course, starts on Jan 1, 2005. That doesn't mean I'm not working out or anything, but my mom gets here today. You think I'm not gonna indulge on no banana pudding or Dory's Peach Cobbler?

Walking away, trailing off: "You must be out yo damn mind..."

I wanna lose 20 lbs by Feb. 1

2005-12-19T00:39:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow, I'm starting back in the gym. It's been hard to keep everything going because I'm trying to get a job as a reporter for the paper I work for, which means playing Kunta Kinte and going above and beyond the call of duty. I'm writing stories (for free) and still doing my editing work.

Anyway, I'm going to do the gym 4X a week, including the whole "eat right" thing I've been on since September. I have my times when I'm weak, but I wanna do this to prove to myself that I can.

Everybody keeps telling me "Nothing's wrong with the way you look now. What are you doing?" I'm doing what I wanna do. Anybody who knows me knows I'm about what I wanna do - and nobody else.

Back to the grind.

Eating while out of town.

2005-12-12T15:35:00.000-05:00

So I've been trying to cook for my host while I've been here. It's sort of nice, since he's putting me up for free, and I get to control what I eat (and how much money I spend, yeah!).

I always eat a big breakfast and then snack or whatever for the rest of the day. This weekend has been a little different. When I went to play spades with a few of the bloggers (Man, I got my ass kicked!), we ended up having something I don't think I've eaten all year -- Popeye's Chicken. And it was sho nuff good!

But I digress. I was cooking dinner last night and ended up eating a handful of these little oatmeal/chocolate chip cookies.

I ain't right, but I know it's been my only slip-up of the trip.

Not quite there yet...

2005-12-05T18:30:00.000-05:00

I went to the gym Dec. 1 with the intentions of getting back into a normal routine.

I haven't made it back since.

I've been busy as I dunno what - not to mention I've been trying to get these articles done - and I'm getting ready for Xmas, which means I'm working more shifts at work.

Being a newbie with low pay sucks!

Welcome back...

2005-12-02T23:33:00.000-05:00

I had a sandwich last night.

That bread. That bread. That bread.

I'm in love with bread. Moreso for the fact that it fills me up fast. I know, it was only three weeks, but I felt the difference.

I tried to go swimming Tuesday (yeah, down here, we can still do that) and my stomach didn't feel right. It's because eggs and sausage, with no bread to sop it up, is not a good thing to swim on. My stomach was probably doing flip flops.

I'm going to the gym tomorrow in the a.m. before work at 9. Then I'm hanging out with Camille. Trying to keep active.

"See, if you can hang..."

2005-12-01T20:18:00.000-05:00

I feel like I'm getting no where, but slowly, getting closer to realizing what I need to do.

It's like sitting in front of the double dutch ropes as they look like they're getting closer and closer.

Flip, flip.

I tried going to the gym every other day, but I lost my motivation (my sister, who now only goes when she can fit it in).

Flip.

I tried going when I could and eating better. That didn't work because of this damn sked which requires me to be at work until the late hours of the evening.

Flip, flip, flip, flip...

The trainer told me to do lots of cardio. The manager of the other Bally I go to told me to increase my heart rate by 20 more.

I nearly had a heart attack the other day.

Instead of slapping the shit out of old dude, I went home.

I'm for sure that I need to lose a few lbs before mom gets down here for the holiday.

I've devised a plan that'll hopefully keep me in the gym - and eating healthy(like).

Hopefully it works.

And I don't end up getting choked when I try to enter the ropes.

I need to quit my job...

2005-11-26T12:53:00.000-05:00

Something's not right. Every time I come in this place, there seems to be temptation surrounding me.

From the first day I got here, people were paying for lunch, taking me out and even filling the little green plastic pumpkin with chocolate delights (they know Reese's is my thang!)

Today was no different.

"Apple pie by the rdbks. help yourself."

Now, come on! I was just tellin somebody I was feenin fo some apple pie like Bobby's feenin fo anotha hit!

Get outta my head.

And, apple pie, get into my belly!

(OK, so I'm staying away from it. But that's just because it's 10 a.m.)

UH UH, don't touch that...

2005-11-24T17:30:00.000-05:00

Potato chips.

Fruit punch.

Strawberry milk.

Regardless of the reason, every time I go to the store, I get something I shouldn't.

THis time, it was this big ass bag of Sun Chips. I needed something to snack on before I went to bed (since I didn't have time - or energy - to make dinner).

I have to get a grip on this whole shopping thing. It could derail me.

More later...

2005-11-17T00:31:00.000-05:00

Today was a non cheating day.

I need to be broke more often.

You know how you go to WallyWorld, buy up all this "good for you" stuff, then, when you pass the first Mickey D's, go straight for it?

If not, now you know my routine.

When I leave the gym, I'm usually hungry. What's a double cheeseburger off the dollar menu really gonna do?

From the looks of it, a whole lot.

I woke up, grabbed a yogurt out of the fridge, relaxed a second, and headed to the gym. I burned off 700 calories on the elliptical machine and did my crunches. Then I came to work. Didn't eat any candy out of the dish (it was empty) and went home and had two baked porkchops and a bunch of veggies. Dude at Bally told me not to eat for up to 6 hours before I go to bed. I'mma try that, and see if it helps.

Stage 1 - Stop eating that...

2005-11-15T20:07:00.000-05:00

Today I made it up in my mind to take charge for what I'm trying to do.

I wanna lose weight.

Not just any weight - a lot of it.

60 lbs isn't a bad goal when you're 335. YES, I SAID IT. This is the closest I can get to saying it out loud, so here it is.

I've been going to the gym for the last two months with little results.

I'm restructuring my gym routines (since my sister hasn't been able to go with me, albeit we were in two different states talking via cell phone).

Here's my list of things that I wanna accomplish by Jan. 1, 2006:

*Get on an eating regimen that requires me to cut bread from my diet.
*Stop eating so late at night.
*Stop binging on things that I know I shouldn't be eating (so much of).
*Start doing more cardio.

With this, I'd be fine. I just have to stick by it.

Wish me luck.